my bday bash!

My Gosh,year end na..Time flies so fast and super aliw looking back haha..Grabe it's been a year..It all happened in one year..parang movie(o yung echusera jan may mapupulot ka na naman na pang asar haha.ok tama na to,sobra ka na sa publicity).I remember how this year started..It started with so much kilig haha and surprises..I won't get into detail issue na nman yun ;) Then,there's test of friendship...There are people who come and go but I'm blessed that many have stayed... And there are people I never thought would be so much concern about me and would really appreciate the friendship we have. This year has been controversial for me...From the love knots and nonsense issues raised by not so important people..But I take them as blessings in disguised. I've seen and felt the love of people around me and how they are willing to fight for me, to protect me and to stand by me. My battle is also their battle. Even if I've missed several opportunities this year, I can never repay the presence of people who made me feel I am someone,not just a nobody. Even if sharp words have thrown upon me, i get 100x more comforting words from my family and friends...Last December 14, I went to DFA for my passport. Yes, it was my bday and I spent 7 hours of my day there hehe.It's my fault anyway because I already used most of my leave hehe...It was one of a kind experience. To fall in line from 1130am-630pm is not joke especially when it's your bday hehe but I have to be patient..The employee there checked my form and birth certificate and found out that it's my bday so she said,"Happy birthday!bakit dito ka nagcecelebrate?" I almost cried haha...Kc i'm so tired and to ask me that,super self-pity nko haha..Pro text messages kept on coming,greetings were overflowing,the sad thing was...nabat empty ako:( In the last process of my passport application,I feel like I'm going to burst out na. But when I was called, I was surprised that the personnel who will encode my data is deaf an mute. Parang it's such a blessing in disguise.God has it's way of making you see that there are more things for you to be grateful of rather than to complain.So after that,I had a smile in my heart.. As soon as i finished my agenda there, I was excited to get home na to at least celebrate the remaining hours of my day with my family and replied to the text messages til midnight.A friend texted me and told me how swerte my bday was..I didn't know that there was a meteor shower on the night of my bday hehe.I was imprisoned in DFA kc haha.And the meteor shower was named GEMINIDS hehe..may jem pa din G lang hehe..pinagpilitan haha pro hope it's a sign of more blessings;) Then day after,went to the Christening of my inaanak and spend the night there. Then, Sunday was our thanksgiving day in our church plus bday of my niece.Monday was the bday of my mom but went home late for dinner because we had a practice for Xmas party presentation.Then tuesday was our xmas party...Puro then na pala ko haha..Basta it's been a busy month for me..d pa tapos ung then til now hehe and with that I don't feel the holiday blues.Got sick and now I'm feeling better without noticing that I already get cured hehe..

And I'll take this opportunity to thank the people who are part of my blessings this year. Lam nyo na kung cno kayo. Wont name names..Baka madamay pa kayo sa issue.. haha Basta you know how much I care for you and love you guys..No words can explain and you know that I cry sa sobrang touch.So even if the world mocks me,I know i have a home in your hearts. To all my girl friends,thanks for being true and for loving me unconditionally. You know naman na I'm having a hard time making friends w/ girls kc so traumatic na yung insecurities and plastikan issues.Kaya sobrang thank you. And to my guy friends,thanks for being my kuyas.For the friendship na pure friendship and for defending me lagi.. Even if other people put malice on the friendship I have with you guys, it doesn't matter to me at all coz I wont trade the wonderful relationship we have in just one dirty rumor. They can call me any names they want, bt they can nt stop me from caring for these people..So thank you to all of you for being my blessings...And to my family, i will love you more and more and I will not let any uneducated and insane people to harm you.And to someone who always make me smile, thanks for understanding my stand.. :)

coca cola and chowking

Their commercials are heartwarming...clap clap clap for them! i was touch in the commercial of chowking when the OFW father has to come home for Xmas and the son asked him,"noel din po pangalan nyo?" and the comercial of coca cola about separated parents and he has to visit his child in the house of his ex...sobrang nkakatouch.

ikaw lang ang aking mahal

i thought it wouldn't hurt this much anymore...i caught yself looking back and i realized that my world stopped and never heard and seen anything around me...as i finished my "dramatic scene", i hardly notice that the song he used to sing on me was being played...and do i need to elaborate more?every word pinch my heart..

Fall 7 times...Stand up 8

Life is full of struggles. Struggle to live…Struggle to be happy…Struggle to succeed…Struggle to endure pain…Struggle to stop crying…Struggle to maintain a good heart…Struggle to survive… You know deep in your heart that you should not stop moving to achieve your goal. But sometimes, fate will test your patience and strength.

Everybody knows, it’s not easy to get up from a rejection. It’s not easy to prove yourself to the people who do not believe in you. But come to think of it…Do you have to go through all these things just to show the world you’re one of the living gems? What make our day-to-day life loads heavy are the thoughts of being rejected by the people around us and be conscious in what they think about you. You must think of yourself. You must love yourself. It’s not wrong to consider the feelings or thoughts of other people because no one was born to live alone but if it already eats up your own identity and you live for the words they say or do,it’s not healthy anymore. If it affects your life from the moment you wake up, start asking yourself who starts giving your own struggles? I once wrote in my blog that life will give you choices.But sometimes it’s more than a yes or no,this and that. The question is, do you have to justify your choice? We all mess up… Nobody’s perfect. No one has the perfect beauty… No one has the perfect attitude. No one can tell the absolute solution in life’s problems. No one can tell you exactly what you should do and what you should not do. Nobody can define happiness for you. No one would give you success except you. If someone hurt you, it doesn’t mean everyone will. If you cried last night,it doesn’t mean you’ll cry for the rest of your life. If you showed kindness in one point or another but some did not appreciate you, remember that you don’t do good things for recognition. If your pocket is empty, you can’t just sit there and suffer from starvation.

Be kind to yourself. Free your mind in negative thoughts and start living in the brighter side. Life is a matter of perpective. If you allow to imprison your mind w/ problems,then you’re meant to suffer. For every struggle, think of a positive effect it causes you. In the end, you’ll see yourself stepping on all these hardships and moving towards to what you’re longing to be.

big blast!

was busy yesterday sa calls and requests of ourstakeholders & stuffs in the office plus kanta pa kme for oktfest kya working and nag aayos na dn ako up to the last minute.was reading the pop msgs of my ofcm8s pro wasnt able to react na din and magtanong wat really happened.breaking news kc ang glorietta2 bombing...initial report e LPG tank daw pero i overheard na yung mga pics daw e d believable na lpg tank lng cause nun..til nakita ko na yung some pix knina and nakita na dn sa news..nakakasad sa iba't ibang theories..na terrorist attack daw ska para lang daw madivert yung issue sa malacanang.the point is,pano nila magawa yung ganun sa mga inosenteng tao na wla nmn winish dat day kundi maglibang and magshop. ska for whatever reason,d valid na makakita ka ng bloods and lifeless people.from sa issue ng 500k na suhol sa govenors and congressmen,so sad kc they are talking such big amount na parang out of pocket lang pero ang daming nagugutom sa bansa natin...kung buwaya ang illustration ng tv ads sa corruption,tingin ko mas masahol pa sila dun. sa sunud sunud na gulo dito,pwedeng magkakakonekta yun..ang sama nila!yun lang.saka bakit ba lage glorietta?dhil ba maluwag din ang security..ganyan nmn sa pinas..pag hot ang issue,maghihigpit,pag tumagal na parang wlang ngyare...let's pray for all the people na involve na lang..haay...

A piece of cake(",)

I'm bored so I'll share myself through this blog...Not in the mood to publish part 4 of Lovelife=) ahmmm,I don't know how to start...Okay,I'll start with telling about me.My real name is Jemellee but people around me call me Jem(when my mother is mad and Marc is bored,that's when I hear my given name in full).I grew up in water (Malabon City hehe) and studied in 3 cities(Malabon,Quezon city & Manila).I wanted to become a Pediatrician but later on,I wanted to become a Psychologist.Unfortunately,I didn't get the slot in UST because I was late for the interview. So i ended up in Business Administration in UST. i don't know if I would still pursue Psychology. For now, I just want to work & work. I am currently working at Manila Electric Company(MERALCO)..and I hope I won't get violent reactions. But I already have plans on working abroad..Ahm,early next year.98% sure. Given a choice, I want to work in clothing company. I want to be part of their Marketing team...I want to design...Being a model is not in my head because I don't have the body of a model and I don't want exposure.If I would put up a business, I want a wedding shop...from planning to the wedding proper.Anyways, if I get a good pay, I would want to own a farm..in New Zealand hehe or at least here in the Philippines. Thinking of my plans for the next few years, I don't know if having a boyfriend is included hehe I don't rush and I know he'll come when I'm ready.So asking me about lovelife, it's zero but I am happy!^_^ I enjoy my life with my friends. Some people thought I'm a lesbian (a big haha) 'cause I'm one of the boys. I don't know why but I feel comfortable w/ guy friends. About my weaknesses?Of course,number 1 is chocolate:) then, earrings,stargazers,ice cream,cake!

to be continued....

Why??

I can't explain why it seems that I have no energy in doing my tasks...I don't know what to answer when someone asks me why my smile is beautiful...I don't know why even if I wanted to write about former President Joseph Estrada's verdict,my document is still blank...I don't know why I'm not affected knowing the fact that UST didn't get the twice-to-beat opportunity...I don't know why I keep on thinking and still get nothing from it...and I don't know why I am writing this but I cannot figure out what I'm trying to say...Maybe I'm just bored hehe

Lovelife...Love life=)

Part 3

8.Let me answer the question of my friend Uma. Although I already texted him my point of view.Here's the question:My friends advice that I should always put my best foot forward during dates. Is this right? Jem, gusto ko serious talk ha? =)
-First, I may sound funny in answering love probs but if you'll just read between the lines, you'll know it makes sense (xempre magbubuhat ako ng sarili kong bangko hehe).Personally, I don't agree w/ his friends. I don't know how to say this but it's unfair for the girl that you're only showing her things that can impress her and make her like or love you for the things that are lovely.Be natural. The girl will decide if she'd like you no matter how many DESPITE OFs,BUTs and IFs you have. I think this is the root of "sumbatan". For me it's like marketing a toy. You'll convince the child she has the best toy in the world but later on she'll discover the side effects like addiction,and recently the issue on too much content of lead. Whether it's intentional or accidental,the damage has been done. Poor child,it's either she'll get poisoned absolutely or hard to get cured.. But hey it can be vice versa for gender sensitivity's sake!hehe

9. I love her so much but she has a bf...but she enjoys my company...
-Well, to my guy friend, how sure are you that she really is enjoying your company and does it imply that you have a chance on her?I don't want to hurt your feelings but hey it maybe true that she's enjoying your company but it could only mean as friends. If she's showing signs that she likes you, don't jump into conclusions. If she had said something that gave you hope, think a thousand times. If she really likes you,what's the point of keeping her relationship? Well,I think I've mentioned this on part 2.

10.There's this girl that I like but we have a conflict on religion..
-Ouch. That hits me hehe... anyways,I really believe that God should be the center of the relationship. If you cannot reconcile the issue, just accept God's plan for both of you.it's hard (I should know) and will really take you a lot of mixed emotions but you can't do anything about it.. Just pray and let Him guide you...

11.I get irritated w/ his ex.
-My gosh gurl,grow up hehe.. he's yours what more can you ask for. i think it should be the other way around but either way it's pathetic.Yeah, I admit that there were times that I got insecure with my ex ex-gf but I'm just grateful that he taught me to act as an adult and if he felt that I was provoked that's why I fought back,he reminds me to become a good person as I can be just to stop the "war" between us...Well,silence or revenge doesn't stop the issue so better to keep silent and make the other party look pathetic on her acts(if she's hitting you also). Be the best that you can be whether you're the ex or the present gf.Just be considerate on the feelings of your bf if you act childishly in public just because his ex is around and please be careful w/ your words. You may think that you're hitting the ex but on the other side you really look and sound funny.'cause maybe she's bein quiet and you still act as an envious diva all this time.We're not high school students anymore. (again,I should know.period)


More issues next time!I just want to post this asap for my friend Uma hehe although I already texted him about his question =)

Lovelife...Love life=)

Part 2
Seryoso na 'to unlike nung part 1 na inatake na naman ako ng masamang ispiritu ng clown ko nung birthday ko nung 7 years old ako. Okay,game!Like sa ibang companies and websites,may FAQs din ako (sosyal!).

FAQs (syempre with my opinion na din para wala ka ng icclick na sampung link bago mo makuha ang sagot):

1. Paano ko sasabihin sa kanya yung feelings ko?
-di po ko eksperto sa panliligaw(aray!may bumatok saken) pero sige I'll try my best to answer this question. First of all, ano bang circumstances?Friends ba kayo ng girl or dinadaan daanan ka lang nya?May common friend ba kayo?Kung none of the above, e suicide na yan hehe.. Syempre loko lang. isa kang malaking langaw kung susundin mo nga ako *wink*. Una, if friends kayo,mahirap nga yan.may mga risks.Xempre una sa listahan ang friendship.Pangalawa,kung dinadaan daanan ka lang nya, mahirap din yan kase d mo lam ano unang sasabihin mo sa kanya.Third, kung may common friend kayo,ano pang hinihintay mo???Above all these, are you willing to take the risk?Kase kahit anong circumstance kung wala kang guts e di no glory :D pero wag ka naman maging presko na bigla na lang susulpot sa kanya at sasabhin na I LIKE YOU.

2. What if di nya ako gusto or ireject nya ako?
-Aba!pano mo malalaman kung di mo itatry? Magiging kabute ka ba pag nireject ka nya?That's the prob w/ guys ( am not saying naman na lahat). Laging playing safe. Most of the time, they are waiting for clues,signs or whatever before sila gumawa ng move.

3.May gf ako ngayon pero may iba akong gusto,may chance kaya na magustuhan ako ng gusto ko?
-Hmmm..hitting two birds in 1 stone? Well,sino ba talaga?si gf or yung bago mong gusto?What's the point of keeping your relationship w/ your gf if you're thinking of pursuing the other girl? You better settle your relationship first w/ your gf before you pursue the other girl.

3a.Malabo na kami ni gf,di ko na alam kung anong status namin.Gusto ko ng magmove on pero gusto ko ligawan si __ kaso natatakot ako na baka di nya ako tanggapin.
-I don't want to judge any guy for shifting from 1 girl to another. Kung anong reason behind it, so be it. Basta ang stand ko, if may nakahang ka pa na relationship, wag ka muna magpursue sa iba. No girl deserves to suffer from the shadow of your past. Di namin pinangarap na haunted kame lage ng ex nyo no! if I were you din,maganda ng honest ka sa gusto mong gurl kung anong meron ka ngayon.Meron ka mang bitter past or wala,it's her decision na kung ano tingin nya sayo,right? Di naman naten pwede icontrol ang mga bagay na ganyan.(uyy nagiging seryoso na ata ako)

4.Anong gagawin ko,like ko sya.Pag magkasama kame,parang kame,pero wala kaming commitment.
-Ouch. yun lang hehe...haay,how many sighs it would take before ko masagot ito...Well,common na din kase 'to ngayon..Playing safe...You do things together,holding hands,goddbye kiss,etc...pero no commitment.If you're the type of person na hindi ready sa mga ganyang bagay kahit na sabihin pa naten na like or love mo na yung tao, get out of that situation. Siguro sa una okay lang to give it a try but if days or months are passing by and you do the same thing,mag isip isp ka na. Ask yourself.Do I want this thing?Is it worth my time?Do I deserve this?Am i still happy?Ang saken lang, what stops the two people to have each other if ganun na yung status nila?!unless isa sa kanila e naglalaro lang...NEXT!!

5.Am I stupid because I let her/him hurt me?
-Masokista yata ang tawag sa gustong nasasaktan hindi katangahan... Of course, ibibigay nilang excuse eh MAHAL KO E..Fine...Minsan naisip ko ginagawa na lang excuse yung love sa stupidity ng isang tao.

6.Ginagago nya ko,ginagawa nya akong tanga...
-hinayaan mo kc gawin nya sa'yo yun.TAPOS!

7.Di ko lam up to what extent ko kayang magstay.
-ako rin di ko alam xempre ikaw yan e. kahit naman sabihin ko na get out of that situation alam ko naman matigas ang ulo mo na magsstay pa din. Choice mo pa din kung gusto mo pahirapan sarili mo or gusto mo ng mag move on. Hindi ko alam kung hihintayin mo pang kinukurot ka nya sa pisngi sa pamamagitan ng nail cutter befor mo maisipan na umalis na sa ganyang situation. if you've given your best, bakit ikaw yung magkakaron ng fear na baka pag sisihan mo pag umalis ka? Kung lahat na ginawa mo pati pag alis ng kalyo sa paa nya, aba turn nya na para xa naman gumawa ng move. Kung aalis ka na,tanggapin mo na lang kung hindi mo sya makitang nakasunod sayo.

7a.gusto ko syang gantihan..gusto kong magpakamatay
-'eto madalas kong naririnig.tnatanong pa nila ako bakit daw ako,di ko nagawang gumanti or bakit strong pa din ako despite ng sobrang sakit ng gnawa nila sa akin?Ang sagot ko lang naman, pag gumanti ba ako sino ba masisira?ako o sya?pag gumanti ba ako makukuha ko ba respeto nya o tuluyan syang lalayo saken?pag gumanti ba ako mababago ko ba yung sitwasyon?pag gumanti ba ako sigurado bang sya ang masasaktan o ako? Pag nagpakamatay ba ako,kaninong buhay ang nasayang?Pag nagpakamatay ako,kawawa nman ang mundo ilan na lang ang magaganda...ay mali!di pala kasama yun hehe baka makalusot lang. Pag nagpakamatay ako,sinong sinaktan ko?sarili ko,laman loob ko at syempre pamilya ko na kasama ko na mula noon hanggang ngayon?At pag nagpakamatay ako,sino bang matutuwa?yung insecure nyang gf?mashado yata mahal yung kapalit ng pagiging masaya nya kaya no way ;p

saka na ulit yung susunod dahil tapos na ang lunch break ko hehe...:D Eto lang ang past time ko sa office wihihi

Lovelife...Love life =)

Part 1...
Well, part 1 kc alam kong may susunod pang kabanata 'to. Napansin ko lang kase na lately e ako yung hinihingan ng advice ng mga friends ko sa love probs nila (expert ba ko?e wala nga akong bf!haha). Pero ayoko na silang tanungin kung ano bang credibility ang meron saken at baka dumugo ilong nila pag nagkamali sila ng sagot hahaha.. Lage akong nakakareceive ng tanong na"Bkt gnun xa?gnwa q nmn lahat para sa knya?bkt nya q pnapahrapan?" Una sa lahat,wag kayong mangialam kung bakit ganyan ang pagkatype ko.Text message kc yan.Ang sagot ko lang naman e di naman nya gagawin yun sa yo kung d mo hinahayaan. Mejo hindi short cut ang text ko kc unli naman ako *wink*. Syempre hindi naman nya tatanggapin yung sagot ko ng ganung kasimple lang. Syempre eexpect kong sasabihin nya ay "E mahal ko e". Bakit ko alam?Syempre linya ko din yun dati wahaha... kaya ano nga bang credibility ko sa pag addvice? Pero minsan nananahimik ako at di ko sha nirereplyan dahil noo ko ang kumukunot kakaproblema ng problema nya. Ako yung nadedemoralize sa sakit na naabsorb ko dahil sa mga sinasabe nya at parang eksena sa pelikula na may nagflash back naman sa utak ko with background music na nobody wana see us together but it don't matter nah coz i got you e nakareceive ako ng text na "cge na jem reply ka naman,kaw lang mkakatulong saken"...ayos gnawa pa akong mapaghimalang rebulto.Pero since pinoproblema ko na din naman ang problema nya e nagreply na din ako...tutal 6 hours pa before mag expire unli ko hehe...So ako naman si bigay ng advice. Sabe ko sa kanya,"cge kung iinsist mo na mahal mo xa, e d magtiis ka muna pero lahat ng bagay may hangganan.." Kita nyo nman lage nauuwe sa hangganan yung saken hehehe..damayan lang 'to haha..Seriously(ang salitang lage kong naririnig sa Grey's Anatomy), di ko lam bakit ba ko nagtyatyaga mag advice kahit na alam kong sa huli hindi naman importante ang opinyon ko. Sa isang relasyon, mas mangingibabaw ang opinyon pa din ng magkarelasyon kesa ng ibang tao. Siguro hobby ko lang talaga maging jem d mango sa mga kaibigan ko.(at winiwish ko na darating ang araw na may paid advertisement na din sa section ko dito para pagkakitaan ko naman ang natatanging talino ko ehem....)Teka kung san san nako napunta. Sige na nga sa part 2 ko na lang ulit isheshare ang iba't ibang love probs na naencounter ko sa isang araw lang!Kumbaga e warm up pa lang 'to.

what's new in news?

Hazing=Dying?
I felt sad upon hearing the news about Mr. Cris Mendez,a UP student. Well,allegedly he's a hazing victim... Haaay, nasayang ang future nya ng ganun ganun na lang.. Parang bakit pa kailangan sumali sa frat kung ganyan din lang?Di ba ang fraternities e brotherhood? Why kailangan pa ng "bloody initiation" para maging member.Do you mean harm to your brother? May gantong case din before.Kay Lenny Villa ng ADMU. Napanood ko yung mommy nya na still in pain kahit more than a decade ago pa nangyare yun.I was able to see din the mom of Cris na halos d na makapagsalita sa sobrang shocked.In 1 snap nawala ang anak nila w/ their dreams unfulfilled. I don't know kung ano na gagain nila sa initiation na dumadanak ang dugo. Marami pang case ng frat wars sa iba't ibang lugar and again,I don't know kung anong benefit ng mga kabataan ang magjoin sa violent group tulad nun. Sana kung yung frat and idamay na naten yung sorority e yung intention ay mag assist sa members nila to cope up w/ their studies and to become a good citizen of this society.Pero kung yung manggulo ka at makapatay ng tao ng walang katuturan, sobrang crime yun. Di lang nila pinatay yung tao,pati mga pangarap nya kinuha pa nila..Pati pag-asa ng pamilya na maahon sa hirap ninakaw nila at mismong magandang kinabukasan na mga involve sa incident na ito sila mismo ang sumira...

Geraldine Palma-more than just a kidnap victim
One of the most heartbreaking news I've seen on tv lately is the case of Geraldine Palma. Grabe, so young. Only 7 years old na found dead sa isang maleta sa may Tondo, sa Ilog Puting Bato kung d ako nagkakamali.Sobrang walang puso yung mga sangkot dito. ang theory on this case nung una e magkahiwqalay pa yung incident ng pagkidnap and pagpatay sa bata.Ang sabe nung una, naghahanap ng victim yung isang group ng snatchers sa Manila.Tapos wala sila makitang maiisnatchan ng celfon.Nakita nila yung bata sa pier na katabi ng maleta. Pinagdiskitahan daw nila yung maleta tinangay na din nila yung bata. Bakit nandon ang bata sa pier kung ang paalam ng yaya e sa Ever Ortigas lang pupunta. Sinong kasama sa pier?Asan ang yaya. Later on, nabubuo na yung story na kasabwat yung yaya dahil karelasyon daw nya yung isa sa suspects.Na tinago nila yung bata somewhere in Tondo.so since missing link ang yaya,hindi malinaw why umabot sa pagpatay sa bata at worse pa dun e ni-rape pa yung bata ng more than 1 guy (3 or 4) before sha pinatay. Now,tell me kung anong puso meron yung gumawa nun?Or meron nga ba?I cannot imagine how painful it is to her family.Pinatay ka na nga,"binaboy" ka pa.Yan ang mga klase ng tao na dapat nasasalang sa death penalty!hiwain sa pamamagitan ng cutter!

H2O-Harot strikes twice!

I don't know if this is an icebreaker or what but I find it funny (and cheap haha pero share ko na din). Last July yata yun (sorry d ako sure), pababa kame ng officemates ko sa canteen to have lunch. May kasabay kme sa elev (d ko na specify kung ano meron sa kanila,period!). Then, si Manang Eden na nag ooperate ng elevator katabi ko. Tapos tinatapik nya yung sa may hita or balakang ko. E may kiliti ako so natatawa ako ng konti and I gave her signs to stop it. Pero am 100% sure na hindi eskandalosa yung tawa ko nun dahil may hiya naman ako sa mga nakasabay namin. Nung before magbreak ng 3pm, may nag approach samen na officemate. May nagsumbong nga daw na ang "harot" daw nung naka maroon sa elevator kanina which pertains to me dahil ganung color suot ko non. And even asked us if we know kng sino yung nakasabay namin. Sobrang nagpantig yung tenga ko sa sumbong na yun kc exag! And the term!Im not playing around lalo.Nakikipagbiruan ako sa ibang tao pero di naman scxandalous.Para ipagkalat mo ng ganun sa office namin, why not tell it to me directly?Dahil ba alam niya na "malicious" yung sumbong nya. Of course initial reaction ko is maasar hinde dahil nahurt ako sa incident na yun kundi dahil ang nonsense ng issue at parang inexag niya yung balitang yun. Kumbaga sa war e nakakita ka ng weak point ng kalaban tas inatake mo agad ng sunud sunud na bomba. Anyways, people around made me calm and told me na wag na lang pansinin yun kc wla na nga lang daw maipintas yun kaya naghahanap ng butas.Ang stand ko nmn ay I dont care who you are bsta alam kong mali ka and you're hitting me,lalaban ako. And ayoko nung behind my back.if my prob ka saken, harapin moko kesa para kang bubuyog na nag bubuzz around.DUH! But I still tried to be calm and hold on to that little respect na natitira for that person dahil may respeto ako sa matanda. So days have passed by and naging cold na yung issue na yun.I see that person na nagkalat ng issue na yun and nagsmile naman sya sken,nagsmile nman ako in return and told my officemate na saken ok na kya kng yung smile nya ay plastik,not my prob anymore. Ganon lang naman kc ako,magagalit pero lilipas din basta naman nakita kong nag initiate na ng move yung kabilang party.So tapos na...Pero kala ko lang pala na tapos na. Last Aug. 28, pagchek ko ng fon ko pag uwe ng bahay,may 2 missed calls ako at di nakaregister saken yung number. I was about to text that number but naunahan nya ko.The first message was Jemellee?and i replied naman ng yes,cno ka po? I was shocked sa next reply nya na sabe,"Napagsabihan ka na noon tungkol sa kaharutan mo,ang ingay mo pa din". Isang big WHAT??? una sa lahat di ko ma-take yung term nya. oo, i speak loud pro d nman to the point na nkakasira ng eardrum and lately,even before nagstart ako magpost dito, ilang weeks nako in dilemma about what path to take so I'm just being quiet and bihira nako lumabas din ng office unlike before.And my officemates would even say na ano bang prob ko,bakit ang tahimik ko na daw.Actually,ilang months na nilang sinasabe yun. So I was really shocked upon receiving of the text message. And puzzled kung saan nanggagaling yun. Pero nagpakumbaba pa din ako despite na foul na ung sinabe nyang yun. Nagsorry pa din ako if i disturbed him/her for that incident na hindi ko alam when nangyare. So I thought okay na. Tapos nagreply na naman sya na akala ko ba may respeto ka sa matanda, bakit ka nag baback fight?Isang malaking HUH?? na naman ulit yun. I don't know where it came from.And sobra na yata yung sinasabe saken. So I fought back na. Nagreply nako ng,"First of all po, yung allegedly na harot thing ay di ko matatanggap kc if you were there,you'd see na I was just smiling (d ko nga kc maconsider na tawa yung ginawa ko kc may hiya naman ako sa mga nakasabay namin) to manang and giving her signs to stop tickling me.With all due respect po,kung sino man kayo, don't judge me because of hearsay. I won't justify myself sa mga nagpasalin salin lang na kwento at d po ko lumaki na pumapatol sa sabi sabi lang. at yung backfight thing,if you really know me,you'd know it's not true.Kaya kung meron po gumusto manira saken, good luck na lang po sa kanila". Tapos di na sya nagreply, buti naman!

I want to emphasize na ang cheap ng issue nila and means of disturbing me. Una sa lahat, mali yung accusations nila..and so what kung totoo nga na napatawa ako ni manang eden?Offensive ba yung makipagsayahan ka sa mga taong tulad nila? Wala ka naman sinaktan na tao or inistorbo sa pagkakataong 'yon. At kung tumawa man ako,hindi naman rinig from ground floor to 14th floor. at 'eto lang ang pinakamataray na sasabihin ko:"Look who's talking!!!" Di ako naghuhugas ng kamay pero everybody knows =)At pano ako naging maharot sa lagay na yun?e D yung iba sobrang galawgaw na??! Sa second incident, I don't know who was doing it. But i'm sure she/he's a coward and an immature creature na ewan ko ba kung bakit pa nag exist.Sobrang clueless ako kase in the first place,nananahimik ako. Second, san nanggaling yang backfight issue?Ibig nya ba sabhin na ang bait ko sa kanya pag nakaharap ako tapos pag nakatalikod kung ano ano pinagsasasabe ko?I know some people who are like that, definitely am not!i'm the type of person na pag di kita feel, di ako mag iinitiate na ibefriend ka or igreet ka.Alam yan ng lahat ng nakakakilala saken. And kung ayaw ko sa tao pero nag initiate sha na ibridge yung gap na yun, wala na saken kung anuman issue meron noon. Kung plastik sila saken, problema na nila yun. If they are affected saken, ako hindi. Kaya kung problema nila ako, di ko sila poproblamahin.Hindi ako magsasalita ng against sa isang tao unless I'm pushed. At kung ang basis nila yung nasabe ko after the first incident, papanindigan ko yun sinabe ko. Right ko na magreact kung alam kong below the belt na yung sinasabe saken at they mean na sirain ako. Kung akala nila I'm someone na tatahimik na lang at magpapasindak sa kanila, I'm not!I've had enough and if before tumatahimik na lang ako,ngayon di na. And what I hate the most e pati ba naman sa text e they would try to bother me. Bakit di nalang harapan??Dahil ba babalik sa kanya lahat ng binabato nya saken? kung may problema sila saken, harapan nilang sabihin sa akin,wag nila ako daanin sa anonymous text. And yes, papanindigan ko na may respeto ako sa matanda.Actually kahit kanino naman basta karespe respeto. So to someone who's doing it, if you want me to respect you, earn it. And I'm sure na ang mga tao lang na mag aagree or matutuwa sa incident na 'to e yung tulad nyang may bad feeling against me na wala din maipintas saken. I don't care if pansinin nyo how I dress up, how many pimples do I have,inyo na lahat ng compliments.Di po ko insecure (na tulad nyo). At para patulan nyo yung ganon paraan, below sea level ang iq nyo at mataas pa sa Mt. everest ang insecurity nyo. ^_^ Sabagay, sino ba lage hinihila pababa?Sino ba lagi inaapi sa mga movies?Well, well, well =) Thanks nga pala sa mga tao na kahit di ko kaclose eh pinagtanggol ako. i want to share this quote: If you weren't worth anything, they would not bother" =) and this punchline,"...dear, hating me won't make you prettier". God bless

Life,oh Life...oh..Life!

Lately, I'm having a dilemma about my career. Will I stay with this company or pursue what I really want?These thoughts give me a headache..and tears (sigh). As what I've said to my friend when he asked about my silence,it's very jem. I'm having a hard time to let go of something that has been part of my life. The thought is enough to make me cry. It's hard to say goodbye to the good old days. I will surely miss the laughters and crazy things I've experienced and most of all the people who are with me 5 days a week. But if I won't take a step forward, I won't get what I want. This is the sad truth about life. Most of the time, we're just conditioning ourselves that we're already contented of what we have but at the back of our minds,we're just too scared to take a move to reach our dreams. What hurts the most is that you know you're about to sacrifice and let go of what you used to have just to start walking towards your dream. By this time, I'm still having a hard time deciding and I just want to enjoy my silence. I don't want to go out or mingle with people. I don't want to attach myself more to them. This time, I just want me....and my sanity.

Struggle...Fight...Stand!

Sometimes you become the person you never thought you could be. Looking back in the past, you'll just see yourself smiling and wondering how you survived all the hardships you've had. Life will really give you heaven and hell. But it really is your choice how you would welcome these things as they come. I would admit that every day of my life is a struggle... Struggle to live, struggle to maintain what I have and struggle to become numb for all the pain. Most of the time, I just sit back and let my mind run through these things.. I remember how messy my life was and how much strength I needed just to stand up again. Every bit of memories crushes my heart. It still pains me. Lots of regrets... Lots of things that I wish I did not do... But too late to blame myself. Everything has already happened. People would ask me, "Why are you that strong?Didn't you feel any anger to those who messed up w/ you?" I just bowed my head and said,"You would think I am not real if I said no but it's the truth. I didn't feel angry... I was hurt.It's two different things. Anger would cause me no good. In everything I have experienced, I only learn one thing: LET GO. Pain would bring tears and yes it feels like hell but look at me now. I wouldn't become this strong and genuine person if I never encountered the hard ways..."
I used to ask God to give me this and that, to bless me those things, to send me him,etc... Now, I'm just thankful for everything He gives me and feel blessed about it. I would not ask for more because everytime I wake up is more than just a blessing. I'm so thankful that He gave me a perfect heart to manage all the emotions I'm going through and I feel that I'm becoming a better person every day. He gives me choices that I know are just His ways to make me become more faithful and to trust His plans for me when I can't seem to go on.
And now that I'm having a hard time deciding what path to take, I lift up everything to Him. He hears my heart and I know He will bless me. If i'm going to stay here or not, I know in time I'll find the answer. But for now, I'm gathering all the strength I need to move on... It's hard and I'll surely miss the people who are with me for more than a year (almost 2 years when I leave) but life's like that. Just go on and let go. I'll find the light and I know I'll be alright. It takes me too many sighs just having these thoughts but I have to spread my wings and fly... I hope I would land on where my happiness really belongs. I never thought I would be this tough to pursue my quest for my dreams. Well, I've been down for many times... I know if I would undergo another trial/s, I would make it just like before... Never did I think of quitting the fight!^_^